Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
