The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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