Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
