im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
