the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
