I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
