so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it's great music for shaving your balls
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
