These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
