Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
