we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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