i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Let's get the cat blown out
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
