come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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