hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
