we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
