That's when you crack a 10am beer
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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