marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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