Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
