You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
