there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
