If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
