Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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