It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
