What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
