I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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