Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
