I think im going to throw up on grandma
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
3 2 1 whiskey
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
