these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is Oprah even human
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
