were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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