I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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