I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
