Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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