she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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