Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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