at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
