I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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