cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
