we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
