She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
