She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Please don't give away my fajitas
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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