How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
