My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
