im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
