yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
