Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
