I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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