I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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