People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
