Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
