She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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