It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Less talking, more tequila
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
