what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
that may or may not have been my penis.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
