they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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