The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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